guilt

when i do things like this...when i try to walk before i can crawl. when i crumple rationality and put it with all my old reciepts. when i expect different out comes from worn down actions. when all that's left is "i'm sorry" and an hour glass. when i do things like this...i want to be invisible. i want to translate all of the knots in my stomach to french, just to make my guilt sound beautiful. i could skip bags and bags of rocks into the Pacific. then maybe i'll feel less heavy. then maybe i can see the gift of goodbyes.