16 Rand

Somewhere on Main Road in Cape Town, South Africa

There is a man

He is Cadbury’s milk chocolate

He is a free mint when leaving a restaurant

He is a hand shake turned hug

He missing his over sized wooden rosary

He has never missed God

He is the light through stained glass windows

He is a 2 dollar bill- to him only 16 rand, but to me

A treasure slipped in every Christmas card from my grandparents

He is a gift

He is a boundary hugger

He is an oxymoron

He is an isosceles triangle

He is I before E except after C

He was mine

And we were easy somewhere on Main Road in Cape Town, South Africa

Where our first and third world fingers met

As post apartheid's freedom song

guilt

when i do things like this...when i try to walk before i can crawl. when i crumple rationality and put it with all my old reciepts. when i expect different out comes from worn down actions. when all that's left is "i'm sorry" and an hour glass. when i do things like this...i want to be invisible. i want to translate all of the knots in my stomach to french, just to make my guilt sound beautiful. i could skip bags and bags of rocks into the Pacific. then maybe i'll feel less heavy. then maybe i can see the gift of goodbyes.